two words: eviction party
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize