im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
