Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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