Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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