I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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