was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
You have to summon your inner elephant
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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