I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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