summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize