i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
