Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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