Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
