you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Randomize
