We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
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