yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize