Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
bring money and cleavage
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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