weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Randomize
