Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
it's like heaven, but drunker
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
