We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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