Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
