I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I am in a vortex of obligation.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
