ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
