i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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