So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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