I feel great
I just peed on a car
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
He literally asked permission to hit on me
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
