8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
