I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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