If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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