No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
