definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I got inside last night via doggy door
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
