I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
