Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
