actually, I'm a sock model
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
