Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
