Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
