did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
