I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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