I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
