How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Randomize
