My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
