I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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