i'm signing you up for texting rehab
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize