But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
