their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
