ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
