He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
