My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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