New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize