Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Please, let me fuck your mom
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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