i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
