The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
