After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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