i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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