I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
