just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
only you would photoshop your dick
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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