Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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