i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
