hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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