"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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