I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
