my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
